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SOCRATES GONE MAD

Updated: Sep 19, 2020

Diogenes of Sinope, is, quite possibly, one of the greatest thinkers in history.


We are mostly unaware of his early life. But the gist of what we do know is that his father minted currency for a living, and once he came of age, Diogenes partook in the same occupation. Some sources claim that shortly after, Diogenes’ father, Hicesias, was exiled from the city on accounts of the debasement of currency. In contrast, others state that it was Diogenes himself who committed the fraud. Regardless, both of them were banished, and all of their material possessions were seized.


With his citizenship rendered useless, Diogenes made his way to Athens, where he made challenging established customs his life’s mission.


He reportedly arrived in the city with a slave named Manes, who escaped shortly after. Diogenes’ humorous response to this abandonment was, “If Manes can live without Diogenes, why not Diogenes without Manes?”


At the very beginning of his exile, the simple philosophies of Antisthenes attracted Diogenes, who repeatedly implored the former to take him on as a student. Antisthenes, reportedly, tried to shoo him away by attempting to beat him with his stick. Diogenes retorted, “Strike, for you will find no wood hard enough to keep me away from you, so long as I think you’ve something to say.”


Diogenes did end up becoming his pupil, despite their less than pleasant first impressions. Now, if they ever really met or not is still somewhat uncertain, but we do know that he ended up surpassing the old man, both in terms of reputation, and the absolute frugality of the life he led thenceforth.


He avoided anything that could be considered a ‘material possession’, and lived out of a giant wine jar that belonged to the temple of Cybele. He had destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed upon setting his eyes on a boy drinking water out of his cupped hands, and upon doing so, had proclaimed: “Fool that I am, to have been carrying superfluous baggage all this time!”


He regularly ate in the Athenian marketplace, where it was frowned upon to do so on accounts of the act being considered barbaric. When asked and rebuked, Diogenes’ simply responded that he only felt hungry while passing through the marketplace.


He also used to stroll about the town with a lantern in hand, in broad daylight. When asked about it, he would respond, “I am just looking for an honest man.”


DIOGENES AND PLATO


Plato, also one of the greatest thinkers in history, was a student of Socrates. Diogenes reportedly ‘studied’ under Antisthenes, who, in turn, was a student of Socrates.


Plato was the sort of man whom we’d call today an idealist, whereas Diogenes was a pragmatist through and through. Plato relied on ideas, where on the other hand, Diogenes lived and taught by example. Plato was all about the academics and the theory, and Diogenes preached a minimalistic and simple life.


It is no surprise then, that two such minds, well known, yet complete opposites of each other, found themselves clashing more often than not.


One of their most popular such encounters, hilariously referred to as the ‘Behold, a man!’ incident among those who are familiar with it, went thus:


Plato once described the man as a ‘Featherless Biped’, and was much applauded for it. Then, Diogenes got wind of it.


He plucked the feathers off a chicken and burst into Plato’s academy. Holding the poor chicken up, he exclaimed, “Behold, a man!


After this little incident, Plato added, ‘with broad nails’ to his definition of a man.


This is, of course, far from being the only wacky anecdote Diogenes was a part of.


DIOGENES AND ALEXANDER THE GREAT


Alexander the Great once found the man looking intently at a pile of bones. When he inquired about this curious behaviour, Diogenes replied, “I am searching for the bones of your father, but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave.”


Boom, roasted.


Another meeting between Alexander and Diogenes went so:


Alexander the Great had returned back to Corinth from a successful conquest. Many statesmen and philosophers had come to congratulate him, and he expected Diogenes to also be present there, as Diogenes was also at Corinth at the time.


But Diogenes took no notice of the emperor and continued lounging in the city. Alexander, therefore, went personally to see him, with an entourage of noblemen and philosophers in tow. Diogenes raised himself a bit upon realising that a great many people were headed towards him, and fixed his gaze on Alexander, who led the procession.


The monarch, upon arrival, greeted Diogenes with respect and asked him if he wanted anything.


“Yes,” replied Diogenes. “Stand a little out of my sun.”


Alexander was, supposedly, so struck by the contempt of this man, who couldn’t give two hoots about the Emperor of Greece himself, that he remarked to his followers, “But if I were not Alexander, I wish I were Diogenes.”


*


Whilst Socrates called himself Greek, instead of Athenian, Diogenes referred to himself as a ‘cosmopolitan’. The importance of this identification often gets glossed over, mostly because of Aristotle’s definition of the term, ‘Cosmopolitan’. At the time, citizenship (specifically with regards to their city), was essential, and a massive part of a person’s identity was based on it.


According to Aristotle, cosmopolitanism was a means to unify the population of the world under the rule of Alexander. In contrast, Diogenes simply rejected the ideas of citizenship and identification.


SPECULATIONS ABOUT DIOGENES’ DEATH


According to Diogenes Laërtius, Diogenes of Sinope died in 323 BCE, at Corinth, on the same day as Alexander the Great.


The cause of Diogenes’ death is somewhat unclear. Speculations include:

  • Holding his breath till he died,

  • Consuming a raw octopus,

  • Dog bite,

  • Or simply old age


The citizens of Corinth had come to truly admire him and had him buried beside the city gates. They also constructed a monument in his honour on top of his grave.


Diogenes, however, wished to have his body thrown over the city walls, and left as food for the stray dogs.


A statue of him stands in modern-day Sinop, Turkey, depicting him holding out his lantern with a dog sitting by his side.


What a mad lad.




1 Comment


Lars Hoekstra
Lars Hoekstra
Sep 05, 2020

Diogenes roasting Alexander The Great took me completely by surprise, I didn't know that that happened!

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